Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Sometimes Patriotism Means Having Higher Expectations

Am I the only person who cares that Osama has been in retirement, in a mansion, in a modern city, with wives and all the American junk food he could handle this whole time? THIS IS THE STORY and by my standards the story is MISSION FAILED. The news is gawking and salivating at the current events instead of doing their job, as usual.


Who did a good job?

  1. We have the best trained and most well equipped special forces on earth. A whole branch of the military full of nothing but “Jason Bournes”, “Chuck Norrises” and “Rambos”. What happens when we send about 20 of them to kill an old man in a silly white robe and a couple friends with AK-47's. This is what they do. They probably did this to warm up for some real dangerous mission later.
    Fantastic work AS USUAL!, but this is not the big story.
  2. Obama: Go find Bin Laden
    CIA: OK
    Obama: Go Kill Bin Laden
    CIA: OK
    Tough decisions. Yeah good job Obama, also not the big story.
What effect will this have on Al Qaeda? Imagine what would happen to McDonald's without Ronald. Nothing. Still kills you. I don't even know what the hell Al Qaeda is. If I decided today that I hate America and start praying to Allah, I think I would be an Al Qaeda; but I'm not sure.


This was not about stopping terrorism anymore. It was about justice. The news now says that Osama was not “armed” but did “Resist”. I don't know about you but I wanted a trial and a HANGING! That’s what we do. These Navy Seals specialize in hostage situations and are specifically trained to not shoot unarmed people. As more of the story comes out it keeps changing. It is becoming clear that taking him alive was not a priority which I find very disappointing in terms of “justice”. I like to see criminals answer for their crimes.

Now the news is starting to ask how its possible that Pakistan didn’t know. Why do we expect anything but this from them? They have the worst track record on terrorism. I say we get our 12 billion in aid(bribes) back and call it even.  I have a better question. HOW IS IS POSSIBLE THAT WE DIDN'T KNOW? This is not conspiracy, its common sense. You have to believe that WE suck or WE are lairs. I'm not pushing one over the other.

Wipe the smirk off your face America, we're looking dumb. Something stinks! I'm not really expecting answers just some acknowledgment of the smell.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Better Late Than Never.

That's all the story I get Obama? I waited over an hour for you to tell me what the news reader* told me an hour ago.

First the news says “this just in: the president will be addressing the nation in 30 minutes, all we know is it will be concerning national security”. For a good 20 minutes it was left at that, with no more information. I know anyone in the country who was watching the news for that 20 minutes was anywhere from nervous to loosing their fucking mind. I was a good 15 minutes into my zombie apocalypse/alien invasion/nuclear warfare game plan before they dropped the earth shattering news. Major fail.

I don't know why it took Obama so long to write a speech just to pat everyone on the back. I was expecting more than this. Sure a few more details will slowly trickle out and I'm sure we'll be watching an Oliver Stone movie about it by the end of the year but I'm confused RIGHT NOW.
All I got from this speech is that Bin Laden has been partying in a mansion for 10 years. That makes me mad.

I don't understand how the president can talk to me about what this means in relation to 9/11 without discussing and acknowledging Bin Laden's history and relationship with the United States, and his home country of Saudi Arabia (where 15 of the 19 hijackers were from). The same people who trained him, killed him. In the context of the blatant facts and unanswered questions which my government refuses to acknowledge or discuss, this only makes everything more ridiculous to me.

Don't get me wrong.....I'm still celebrating. The only difference there might be between me and you is that I KNOW that I DON'T know what I’m celebrating.

Dead men tell no tales. I guess the president doesn’t either. Now if he could just kill the monster that lives under my bed I would really get a good night's sleep.

Hand out some medals and get back to the printing press.


*”reporters” will now be referred to as “news readers”

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Distraction of the Week: Nuclear Energy

Lets say that a couple weeks ago I asked you this question. “What do you think would happen if a 8.9 magnitude earthquake hit a 40 year old nuclear power plant?” You would probably describe something close to what's on the news right now. You are also probably not a nuclear physicist. I think that allows us to file this concept under “common sense”.

This incident had not brought any new information to light yet all of a sudden my tv\radio\news paper is full of people debating the future of nuclear energy. Why? Nuclear energy is big business and they don't want their product recalled. They are doing their best to make sure everyone is arguing about all the wrong things and its working. Lets put this whole thing through the bullshit strainer and then sprinkle some reality on top.

As far as meltdowns go, nuclear energy is relatively safe, especially newer generation III plants. This is not the main point of concern.
It never goes away. Some isotopes of the uranium and plutonium can have a half life of ten thousand, hundred thousand, even a MILLION YEARS. This shit has to be maintained FOREVER which means the cost of nuclear energy is INFINITY DOLLARS. That’s right INFINITY DOLLARS! The energy industry loves it. Your great grandchildren will still be paying for the energy you are using right now.
At every step of the process, profits are privatized and expenditures are subsidized:
  1. Mining Uranium
  2. Building The plant
  3. Running\Maintaining The Plant
  4. Selling Electricity 
Before the meltdown, Republicans said its cheap and safe, Democrats (including the president) said its cheap and clean. Both are being blown by industry lobbyists (http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2011/03/17/AB6sr0k_story.html). If they actually cared about any of these things they would be selling the people on solar, wind, geothermal, etc., but instead they make excuses which could be applied ten fold to nuclear energy. They say these technologies are not ready. They will never be ready because the corporate sponsors will never willfully give up energy revenue. In fact, despite over half a century of research and billions(maybe trillions world wide) of dollars, it is nuclear energy that is NOT READY. Theoretical gen IV and V reactors may produce little or no waste, but scientist say they are at least 20 years away from practical application. Even then, is this how we want to power the whole planet?

What if we put (or had put) these resources into real renewable energy? Nuclear energy is a distraction and we don't need it.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011


When someone tells you they are pro-life, they aren't trying to make a statement about themselves, they are passive aggressively commenting on others.  Have you ever met a sane adult who is anti-life/pro-death?  If you support the legality of abortions this is what is being implied about YOU every time someone calls them self "pro-life".

Abortion is a very serious issue.  Adults cannot discuss serious matters when framed in a intellectually dishonest manner.  According to polls on Sean Hannity's website if you call yourself "pro-life" you probably also support capital punishment.  I would say there a good chance you love the military as well.  Many would call you a hypocrite but you are not.  You did however allow us to have a conversation about abortion without talking about abortion.  Thanks!

No one likes abortions.  Everyone likes life.

As you may know republicans are in the process of defunding planned parent hood.  You also may know that while democrats love to spend money on things that don't work republicans love to cut spending on things that do.

Planed parenthood works, especially for "pro-lifers".  Why?  Well I'm going to make some more assumptions about "pro-lifers".  They probably don't talk to their children about sex other then to tell them its bad/evil or its only for married people.  This works great on an Amish commune.  I don't live there.  If your reading this, neither do you.  Maybe you should prepare your child for reality since that's where you live.  It's your disconnection from reality that creates the void that planned parenthood fills.  They provide education and contraceptives/birth control and other medical services that could not be acquired otherwise because of money or embarrassment.

Against abortions+Against birth control+Not living in a commune=Madness
Madness=More Abortions

If you don't do anything constructive to prevent unwanted pregnancy (telling people god doesn't like it, does not count) then we cannot take your opposition to abortions seriously.

The argument is, "we don't want tax dollars paying for abortions".  Planned Parenthood says tax dollars only go toward education, contraceptives, other women's health services, etc, and woman pay for their own abortions.  I agree money is fungible and it seems kinda gray, but I don't care either way. Why?

1. Because regardless of who pays for it and whether or not it's legal ABORTIONS ARE NOT GOING AWAY. Just like drugs, they only become more dangerous and allow the government to unjustly label more of our citizens as criminals.

2. (WARNING: YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ UNADULTERATED TRUTH) It's not just the mother who has to live with her mistake. It's all of us, and to illustrate my point I will quote one of the most ridiculous “pro-lifers”. The following is from Ann Coulter's book Guilty: Liberal "Victims" and Their Assault on America:
By 1996, 70 percent of inmates in state juvenile detention centers serving long-term sentences were raised by single mothers. Seventy-two percent of juvenile murderers and 60 percent of rapists come from single-mother homes. Seventy percent of teenage births, dropouts, suicides, runaways, juvenile delinquents, and child murderers involve children raised by single mothers. Girls raised without fathers are more sexually promiscuous and more likely to end up divorced. A 1990 study by the Progressive Policy Institute showed that after controlling for single motherhood, the difference between black and white crime rates disappeared.
Various studies have come up with slightly different numbers, but all the figures are grim. According to the Index of Leading Cultural Indicators, children from single-parent families account for 63 percent of all youth suicides, 70 percent of all teenage pregnancies, 71 percent of all adolescent chemical/substance abuse, 80 percent of all prison inmates, and 90 percent of all homeless and runaway children.
A study cited in the Village Voice produced similar numbers. It found that children brought up in single-mother homes 'are five times more likely to commit suicide, nine times more likely to drop out of high school, 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances, 14 times more likely to commit rape (for the boys), 20 times more likely to end up in prison, and 32 times more likely to run away from home.' Single motherhood is like a farm team for future criminals and social outcasts.
....Many of these studies, for example, are from the 1990s, when the percentage of teenagers raised by single parents was lower than it is today. In 1990, 28 percent of children under eighteen were being raised in one-parent homes (mother or father), and 71 percent were being raised in two-parent homes. By 2005, more than one-third of all babies born in the United States were illegitimate. That's a lot of social problems coming.
...Imagine an America with 70 percent fewer juvenile delinquents, 70 percent fewer teenage births, 63 to 70 percent fewer teenage suicides, and 70 percent to 90 percent fewer runaways and you will appreciate what the sainted single mothers have accomplished." -- P.37-38
"A 2008 study led by Georgia State University economist Benjamin Scafidi found that single mothers -- unwed or divorced -- cost the US taxpayer $112 billion every year." -- P.51

So, you see the same people who don't want to pay for abortions also think single motherhood is a bad idea and do not want to pay to support the the children and mother.

More Madness.

If the mother cannot support the child (and maybe even herself), will you? Yes! You will, one way or another. Instead of protesting outside the clinic why don't you just offer to adopt all the babies? You won't because you can't, and neither can the government. If you are appalled by this, I would like to welcome you to reality. Go volunteer at the human society and get a stronger grip. Stop name calling while the adults are actually doing something to prevent what we all hate.

The Future Has Been Canceled

So here's 2011. What do you think? Is this what you thought is would look like? I don't know about you, but I want to know where my flying car is. I have been led to believe that fifteen years before I was born Americans landed on the moon. What for? To measure dicks with Russia? That's it? Over 40 years later FORTY FUCKING YEARS! No moon base. Same bullshit space shuttle for 30 years. An international space station to analyze what a fart smells like in outer space, and RC cars on mars. Is anyone even taking this NASA shit seriously anymore?
Am I crazy or is technological progress and achievement happening only on a superficial level?  Matter of fact some of the most successful "technology" companies in this country ( Apple, Google, Microsoft) don't make new technology, they specialize in dumbing it down for the masses.  Pack last decade's computing power into a shinny little case with pretty pictures on a touchscreen and people will sell their first born to get one.  If you can make a computer interface with a dummy you are on the cutting edge.   Is this what it's going to be? Are we really not smart enough to utilize and implement the new?
I say the answer is energy. The richest and most powerful people in the world sell it. Guess what was included in the next wave of technology that we never got? FREE ENERGY! It's everywhere and we have had the technology to use it for decades. What about free information? The same reason there is no solar panels on your roof is the same reason you pay over $100 a month to plug a cable into your T.V. that was probably already there.  Win the future?  The future has been canceled because it's just not profitable to the man.

Parties with debt get people with debt to vote for people with debt to get rid of debt.

Put rising sea levels aside for a little while because there is a more immediate threat to dry land....diarrhea from the capitol.  That's right, very soon this entire country will drown in bullshit.

As with the soda industry, the bullshit market is cornered by two brands(Democrats and Republicans).  Today CNN reports that the Democratic National Committee is 17 million dollars in debt.  Republican National Committee,  22 million in debt.  How is anyone taking these people serious?  Do you call yourself and Democrat or Republican?  If you do then you must also think that switching from Coke to Pepsi or vise versa is an effective way to loose weight.

American politicians have two jobs regardless of packaging:

1.Legislate on behalf of corporate sponsors.
2. Sell you bullshit (flavor may vary between brands).

Why does this government attract the worst people?  This country has tons of brilliant, successful, competent people but we would never elect any of them.  Why?  Because they will tell us the truth and we prefer bullshit.  That's why we have a government run by used car salesmen and ambulance chasers.

Rather than quit cold turkey we go on a binge.  Between "tea parties" and "hope" we will soon OD.  These people remind me of student government elections in high school.  We are going to cut taxes, decrease the deficit,  have more field trips, longer lunch periods, and no homework if you vote for them.  You don't ask how because you don't give a shit.

The average American household with at least one credit card has nearly $10,700 in credit-card debt.

Attention average American (I understand this is rhetorical since everyone knows they are above average): Stop voting for people you like.  Stop voting for people who tell you what you want to hear.  They are fucking everything up.

Jehovah's Witnesses=Pyramid Scheme

So it’s been about a year in this house and after 3 encounters with the witnesses of Jehovah I’m starting to get a good picture of where the vital organs are located.  As far as I’m concerned, the jugular is this concept that only 144,000 people are going to “heaven”.   This morning I explained to the well dressed gentlemen what a pyramid scheme was.  Instead of Tupperware they were selling Jehovah and instead of earning a trip to the Bahamas they were trying to collect enough witness points for a ticket to Heaven (which consists of you ballin out of control in the skybox with Jesus where you get to rule over everyone who also sold Tupperware, but not enough).   What about the people who don’t buy/sell Tupperware? Dead.  No heaven.  No Hell.  The End. 

Here’s where the most bat shit crazy person starts to sober up.  This Tupperware company is 100 years old and has had tens of millions of salesmen.  Currently it has millions of salesmen.  How do you know you are not saving up credits for a sold out show?  How many sales have you made today?  Are you confident you are in the 99.8th percentile of all salesmen in history?  How about your wife?  How about your children?

My natural response to this world view is as follows: I don’t like selling Tupperware.  The prospect of being a slave in “Jehovah’s Witness Heaven” (Hell) doesn’t get me that excited, so if I’m headed towards a big nothing when I die I might as well celebrate my birthday, have sex, take drugs, and yes if the end is near HOOK IT UP WITH THAT BLOOD TRANSFUSION!